Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, a holiday we are all supposed to send or give love and thoughts to our Mothers. Seeing I am a mother I like this idea! Hey, cards, a gift, dinner, I enjoy being remembered. Or, maybe we aren’t remembered, it happens. Children have different beliefs, priorities, lives filled to the brim with their own activities and possibly a mother you simply know is there and the day passes by. Your mother loves you, or she does not. Chances are if she does you’re one of the ones more likely to forget the day, she is not going to disown you 🙂
I remembered my mother this Mother’s Day, likely for the last time, I sent her flowers. My conversation with her today while I was looking in my dressing room mirror; I don’t relish looking at myself and being reminded where I am on the timeline of life, I was paying attention to my reactions, my expressions responding to my mother’s happy observations outside her window (the bird feeders), I wanted to ‘see’ (literally) my reactions to my mother’s softly spoken (weak) words, hear about the flowers inside her house and who had visited yesterday. Her world is small these days but she has accepted that and does delight at the bloom of a hibiscus that opened today, blooming on a plant she told her caregiver to get rid of, it was ugly. That too is my mother. The plant seems to have survived, not everything escapes my mother!
Mother had a little boy and his uncle visit yesterday. The uncle is a young man she had worked with and he wanted to pay his respects, the little guy is his nephew, just a mite of a boy and not excited to visit an elderly, very sick woman, whom he didn’t know and in a strange house. Mother had dripped soup on her blouse when eating and wasn’t certain she wanted anyone to see her in such a ‘mess’. This too is my mother, you do not get dirty! If you do you fix it!
After she remembered who her visitor was (please take off his hat so she could get a good look), she worked with dozens of young people her years at The Dogpatch, a Munising Michigan well known restaurant. My mother enjoyed working with the ‘kids’ each one of the employees as they came and went; it seems they all remember her and like to pay her visits, they did before she wasn’t well, so these are not sick calls. The young people she worked with in her 60’s and 70’s gave her energy, kept her up with what was happening in Munising, she would say they kept her young. And her steel like personality garnered her respect, her work ethic perfect, and she can be great fun. She worked when most people would have been more than happy to give it up; she worked because she liked the job, the people she worked with and being occupied was important to her. She was a working woman all of her life. Being raised in the depression having extra money to set aside certainly didn’t make her unhappy!
Mother took a liking to the little boy who visited yesterday. He is an endearing little guy and she wanted him to feel comfortable at her house, not wanting him to leave immediately, just as he arrived. So my mother, the woman who allowed no one to touch anything under threat of who knows what (most likely nothing but a dirty look, I’ve not been ‘hit’ in my life) she was a firm woman, still is, don’t touch! She encouraged this little guy to please touch, pick up, and enjoy or explore the multitudes of things she has in her home that give her pleasure. What he enjoyed was a clear glass globe with birds flying around as it played a tune.
While I was busy listening, looking in my mirror I heard a different mother, not changed, people rarely change, but one that was appreciative of a little boy, wanted to make him comfortable in her world, even if she had spilled soup on her blouse. The spilled soup could have been a door barred from entrance at one time. Yesterday it didn’t really matter other than it crossed her mind. What will become of the little boy seemed paramount on her mind and what a gentleman his uncle is.
It is mindful for us to remember on days when cards are often mushy and don’t fit our situations, don’t come close to our feelings or relationships, that there is good in almost all people. find a blank card, write your own feelings and thoughts, most of us even if childhood was difficult can remember a good thought, a memory that was loving, kind and represented our mother in a good light. We are here! If nothing else we can offer a big thank you for a mother who cared for our needs, gave us life. That is the gift our Mother’s have given us. And for that I am grateful 🙂
Damn, that was a good one. Looking in that mirror, the present staring back at you. Telephone pressed against one ear listening to mother rediscovering the innocence of a child. That…………………is an interesting narrative. I can picture it. Firing on all cylinders now………Keep the fingers on the keys…….
And you know what! That too had it’s ‘vanilla’ side (I’ll give you the details)! But it is true, it’s what I was doing….I wanted to see ‘me’ talking to mom, her more gentle self. She would have let that little guy touch (I’m guessing here) just about anything. Old life and a new life 🙂 Thanks for commenting my first born! I appreciate your feed back.
You have found a way to celebrate what you have and not dwell on what you missed. That’s a fine trait I admire in you. So glad you included the photo of your mother. I heard you talk about her and I enjoyed seeing her image. Good day tomorrow.
Mary Jo said:
Trudy….you are indeed a gifted writer…seems like I was a “fly on the wall” while you were talking with your Mom! I hope you are having a very Happy Mother’s Day..mine has been wonderful!
Thank you Mary Jo. I was talking about you today! Good thoughts and memories of course. I was telling a friend of your mother’s loss, that too was hard on my mother, and my memories of her; she was a beautiful woman and passed from a disease that today would have been cured asap. Glad to hear you had a wonderful day, I know you are a deserving mother 🙂 I had a good day too….just home from dinner with our grandchildren (and their parents) and the kids delight me. Happy Mother’s Day!